Episode 1: An Old Friend

“I’m bored”, Fun Brain announced. “In fact, I’ve been bored since we finished reading that thriller about the two twins.”
“Two twins?” Tech Brain looked supercilious in anticipation.
“Yeah, the woman had two twins, but one of them was a secret and she turned out to be hidden in a bunker in the desert, and...”
“Last time I checked, one twin plus two twins equals triplets.”
“Wha’ever, minger.”
“Oh, I wish Pietro had never taught you that” said Adult Brain with a frown. “He really is a bad influence on you, Fun.”
“I think he brings out my best side, actually. But that’s not the point. I’m bored.”
“We only finished the book five minutes ago,” Clever Brain pointed out. “We haven’t even got up off the sofa yet. You have no attention span at all.”
“Come on, guys, cool down,” Adult Brain broke in. “You know how cranky the Human gets when you argue.”
Fun Brain giggled. “Beth’s funny when she’s cranky.”
“You wouldn’t think it was fun if you had to deal with all the paperwork”, Emotion Brain grumbled. “The Nervous System bods always have a mass of forms to fill out when she has one of her moments – requisitions for surplus adrenaline, post-facto permission for exceeding blood pressure allowances...”
“But she looks funny. You have to admit that she looks funny.”
Emotion Brain cracked a smile. “Yeah, it’s true. Like a petulant shrimp.”
A sound from the corner cut across the chuckles of general agreement, and the Brains all turned to see what had caused it. A slinky, well dressed figure waved languidly at them, with a smile at once shy and seductive.
“My God!” Clever Brain breathed. “It’s Knickers Brain!”
“KNICKERS! You’re back!” Fun screeched, running over to give the newcomer a big hug.
“Didn’t she leave on an extended holiday after that thing with the C…”
“Don’t say it!” Begged Emotion Brain. “You wouldn’t believe the admin you cause when one of us brings THAT to the Conscious Thought department’s notice.”
“Well, I’m back now,” said Knickers Brain. “I decided that enough is enough. Just because the Ca… the last one was a shit on a stick, doesn’t mean the Human should be a nun for the rest of her life. Bad for the mental health, if nothing else.”
Adult Brain looked sceptical. “That all sounds very noble, K, but be careful. You have a track record of making life difficult.”
“Quite right,” said Clever Brain in fervent agreement. “Like that time you and Tech got cosy and Beth nearly snogged a MacBook in PC World. The Botley Road is just not ready to see that level of debauchery.”
“Computers need love too,” Tech contributed, “that MacBook was a sexy little fox. And, let’s be honest, even an inanimate object would probably have been a step up from The Canadian…”
A distant rumble sounded from the corridor marked “Nervous System”. Emotion Brain groaned. “Now you’ve done it. I’d better go and wait for that paperwork.”

***

To mark Knickers Brain’s return, the Brains decided to hold a party with their Human. Adult Brain’s protestations that there was just too much work to get done before their meeting at the OUP the next week were shouted down, and Fun Brain was almost incoherent with excitement. The impending advent of the new Harry Potter Book only added to the festive mood. Tech Brain and Fun Brain had done the online shopping which, to Adult Brain’s chagrin, was heavy on alcohol and light on any serious nutrition.

“So, who have you invited to my party?” asked Knickers.
“Well,” Fun Brain told her, “we all had some input as to the guest list, and we hope you’ll approve. Of course, I had to ask Pietro and Gabriele…”
“One couple’s acceptable, I guess”, said Knickers, “and they’re both awfully cute.”
“I’m afraid that you won’t be happy with me. I asked Joe,” Tech Brain admitted. “He understands all my geek jokes; he’s, like, l337, man.”
“What the heck does that mean? And did it occur to you that he has possibly the most gorgeous girlfriend in the whole world? Who on earth am I going to flirt with at this party?”
“I think you’ll be happy with my choices,” Emotion Brain offered. “Julia’s just your type, and Greg has that marvellous hair.”
“Things are looking up!” Knickers Brain grinned. “I can see where I’m going to be concentrating my energies…”
“And I’ve asked James,” Clever Brain said. “He’s very good for the Human’s IQ.”
“Not to mention that he has gorgeous eyes, of course,” said Knickers. “I’m liking this guest list more and more.”
“I decided to ask Nick.” Adult Brain told Knickers. “The Human is sometimes actually vaguely rational with his influence.”
“He has a great line in puns, too,” Fun Brain added.
“And is definitely on my list of hot stuff,” Knickers Brain agreed. “I’m really looking forward to this party.”

The Brains sat back and waited for the Aural department to signal that the doorbell had rung.

***

Next time… The Brains meet The Simpsons, and Tech Brain gains control of the Reading department.